Bah! Foolish People!

The way this needs to work, you see, is that I ask you what you want and how you want it to behave, then you tell me, and then I can tell you if it's possible and how long it will take to build it, then I go away and build it based on that specification.

Generally, this process will fail if your response to my "what do you want" and "how should it behave" emails basically boils down to "I don't know... you tell me what I want!".

Doing this is likely to inspire me to create you a virtual goldfish boiling simulator or somesuch. I am rarely short of bizarre ideas for brief or specification free webpages or systems.