Ever Shambling Onwards...

I'll get right to the point:

I've been having some insomnia related problems of late, and recently took the step of going to the doctor's to get myself back on track.

It's not the first time this has happened, so I caught it a bit earlier than last time. This time I was down to around 20-22 hours sleep a week, with a bit of variation - so more than double the amount I was getting last time I had serious insomnia problems. This time I'd noticed my general health deteriorating sooner (probably due to being older) and so didn't leave it as long before admitting it was a problem that wasn't going to sort itself out and going for medical help.

What had been happening was that I'd force myself to get up for work, then have to force myself to stay awake and functional through the work day... which meant that when evening came, my body had pumped itself full of "stay-awake" chemicals - assisted by a diet that was full of things to keep me awake in daytime. Unfortunately, those things that kept me awake in daytime hung around to keep me awake at nightime - resulting in another bad night's sleep ended by my having to get up for work... and it kept going round and round, with less and less sleep happening in the middle of it all.

I took a few days off here and there to give myself some longer weekends so I could recover a bit - but longer weekends and days off don't help when you still don't actually get any more sleep in them. So I decided it was time to see the doctor again.

For the past week or so, I've been on medication which doesn't knock me out, but does counter the foolish brain chemistry that has been preventing me from going to sleep in the evenings. The idea is that the medication doesn't send me to sleep - it just takes away the self-perpetuating brain-chemistry feedback loop which has been keeping me awake, allowing my body to naturally readjust.

Mostly, for the past week or so, I've been getting close to normal amounts of sleep. Still a little shy of what I should be getting, but getting better almost every night. The medication also brings with it a few delightful side effects, which are supposed to pass fairly quickly. To be honest, I thought they had passed, as I'd felt mostly fine for the past couple of days, but today they decided to reappear with a vengeance.

I don't remember them from last time, so I'm guessing they won't hang around for long. Then again, last time I was signed off work for the first week of the prescription... so I may have had a slightly smoother ride. I wasn't in a bad enough state to need that this time around, though.

In general, things have been working okay so far - with today being the first real exception. I woke up this morning with no energy whatsoever and feeling dizzy and nauseous as hell. Thankfully, declaring myself off sick and going back to bed dealt with the nausea and dizzyness by early afternoon. although I've remained utterly wiped out all day. Lying down shouldn't be a tiring activity, but today it has been. Had I gone in to the office I may have been able to make myself useful as a doorstop... but I think that role is better served by, y'know, actual doorstops.

Instead, I've spent the day either being asleep or being so out of it that I may as well have been asleep. I'm still pretty shattered even now. Which is good, really, because it'd be rather unfortunate to not be able to sleep tonight as a result of being medicated for insomnia. It'd be the really annoying kind of irony.

So, the point of this long rambly post?

I'm not sure there is one, other than to say the following:

Yes, I've been sleeping increasingly poorly for the past few months.
Yes, I've been having some other health problems as a result.
Yes, I'm dealing with it and will recover soon.
I will be fine just as soon as I can get the chain back on my sleep cycle.

So, here's a bit of an update on the current state of my plague:

( cut as potential TMI )

Okay... last night was less than good. I am definitely ill. Not even working from home - just full on crashed out ill. Urgh.

You know how mothers always tell kids to wrap up warm when they have a cold, even if they feel warm already? How they tell them to not go outside in the cold? How they tell you not to overdo it?

I'm currently living proof that they know what they're talking about.

( the whole story... )

For the next show, I think I'll stick to my old job of sitting at the back of the room by the lighting desk. Either that or I might consider acting, but only a small role if I do.

[EDIT: It may not seem like it from the above, but I did in fact enjoy doing the shows. It was hard work, and it made me ill more than I'd like, but it was fun. I'll still be doing shows, but will probably be less involved with the pantomimes as this one ate more of my life than I had spare...]

...every time I've gone near the panto I'm working on, I get ill! Because I'm standing in for one of the stage hands on today's performances (rather than just assisting them on the last two), I have developed a filthy, stinking cold.

Still, I've survived one of today's performances with no major catastrophes... one more to go, then the after-show party (which I'll go for a bit of) and the takedown. After that, I can have a life again.

Incidentally, this lot are doing Alan Bennett's "Habeas Corpus" in may. If anybody's interested in getting involved, give me a shout.

So... I have now done the whole "doctor" thing...

Looks like when the Flu (for he agrees that's what it was) was tanking my immune system, a rather antisocial bacterial chest infection snuck in, and is right now making itself at home and getting ready to stay a while. Putting it's feet on the sofa, leaving dirty plates around... that kind of thing.

But NO! For now I have Amoxycillin! Puny bacteria! You cannot stand before the germ destroying might of Amoxycillin! (Unless you're MRSA or somesuch, but that seems unlikely.)

I've still got this lingering plague, damnit. Today I'm coughing slightly less (so far) but the slight dizzyness is back , which I don't consider to be a good sign at all. It's a lot less significant than before, in that I can stand up and move around without any real issues, but it's annoying all the same.

In other news, I bought "The Orange Box" set of half-life related stuff the other day. Portal is weird but very cool, and with much humour that appeals to me. Episode 2 is shaping up to be as mightly as the earlier games in the series, although I've not gone hugely far with it just yet. Obviously, Team Fortress 2 is going to require that I hop online to try it out... Which I may do at some point. Probably when some other folks have picked it up too so we can give it a proper go. It looks cool, and with a lot of cartoony humour as well.

So.. second day of being off sick.

I'm actually feeling better than I did yesterday in some ways, and worse in others, which is kind of odd. I've still got no energy to speak of, though, so I'm not going to be doing much. I'm not even going to be sitting at a PC much, as I'm already getting wiped out after about 20 minutes of spod time this morning. It's bad when sitting and spodding can wipe you out.

I suspect I'll be sitting in bed, or on the sofa downstairs, either reading or facing the TV (not entirely the same as watching - watching implies some form of taking it in...).

Anyway - the big plus today is that I don't seem to be constantly dizzy anymore! I'm coughing and sneezing more than I was, but ( TMI ).

Anyway - that's enough of that. I'm off to lie down somewhere.

Third day home sick with a stomach bug. I want this to go away now.

Thankfully I feel less poo than I did yesterday, so I might actually be getting somewhere with that...

So, I spent yesterday making roughly no sense and generally either curled up asleep or wishing I was curled up asleep. This sinus thing is getting old very quickly and I want it to be done with. Still haven't heard anything from the hospital, though. Back in work today, although I'm not sure of the wisdom of this...

What bugs me most is that I keep having to remind people that I'm ill - which I hate. I've had the same dull headache for two and a half / three months, and every now and then it really kicks in and gives me something worse. I've found myself getting increasingly grouchy, and keep making stupid mistakes at work.